You think that you want a divorce. Should you start planning for it on your own, or should you tell your spouse what you’re thinking?

To some degree, it may help to start planning before you bring it up. For instance, if you’re worried that your spouse will recklessly spend money or threaten you in any way, you can take steps to protect yourself, such as making plans for a new place to stay. It may help you to keep your thoughts to yourself.

At the same time, experts note that many couples do not communicate well when it comes to unhappiness in the marriage and an eventual divorce. A lot of times, one partner thinks his or her feelings were clear and well-expressed, while the other had no idea anything was wrong. It may be wise to talk about your thoughts, rather than assuming your partner knows something is wrong.

Above all else, only bring up divorce when you have thought about it rationally and you know it is what you want. This allows you to plan out your life moving forward. Don’t use divorce as a threat or just say it in the heat of the moment.

Once you and your spouse do decide to end your marriage, it is important to take some time to look into all of your legal options. This process can get very complicated, especially if you and your spouse are not on exactly the same page or if your spouse doesn’t want a divorce at all, and you need to know how to fight for the best future for yourself.